Tuesday, September 7, 2010

It's that time again.  A time when I find myself treading through a valley.  With each step I'm trying to hold on to my sanity and my faith in myself and God.

I am from a country constantly visited by hurricanes and tropical systems.  Presently I live in the southwestern region of the U.S. where a tropical storm is a rarity and yet, outside the rain pours.  It has been pouring all day because of a tropical storm.  And it made me think a couple of things.  First, did this storm follow me here?  And second, anything is possible, whether or not you believe it is.  

At this time my life has been as if in a tropical storm.  It's been hard to see the way ahead.  I've felt carried from one situation to the next as if I was caught up in a strong wind.  And I've been holding my head down watching every step I make, willing myself to keep on picking up my feet, despite the downpour about me.   Like many people right now I am without paid work.  But beyond that I am uncertain as to what to do next.  It has not been as simple as send a resume, get an interview, land a job.  Additionally my failures in my job search have left me with more time for reflection.  So, I have noticed quite a few shortcomings in my present life.  But still lies the question, "what next?"

I don't have the answer.  I simply do not.  But strangely as the day and the rain wanes on and thunder rumbles in the distance, I feel less weary.  Storms are happening not just inside of me, but everywhere, even where you thought they would not.  And so, won't I get through?  When the storm has passed, these days will be a memory.  Another kind of day will certainly come.  So as difficult as it may be, I surrender to the storm.  I don't resist it.  I listen to it tapping, pounding, then tapping again against the window pane.  I will ride it out until there's quiet again and sunshine.

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